Where has all the Twi-Crack gone?

I mean, seriously, I am about to go on a holiday to Fiji. I find packing stressful and quite frankly I am feeling a little anxious about it all. So, of course, what does one do to quell this anxiety? Naturally I reach for my prescription of Robward pills, dig around for my stash of Twi-crack and then, once administered, let all the problems of packing for a tropical island getaway melt away as I absorb myself in the land of Twilight.
But where has all the Twi-Crack gone? Prior to the New Moon screening there was so much Twi-Crack available on the net that I almost had to check myself into a rehab centre just so I could do my washing and ironing without distraction. Now? Nothing. Two stinking official trailers and no leaks. The Twilight Universe is all of a sudden watertight and so devoid of leaks one would be forgiven for thinking we are in a Twilight drought!!!
What has happened I hear you ask? Well, it's not a matter of what but WHO? And I have one word for you... Oprah. Yep. Oprah. The Twilight universe was fine, thank you very much, before bloody Oprah came along and got her sticky fingers all over it. Once upon a time a girl could leak all kinds of screenshots, clips and trailers all over the world wide web satisfying millions of women around the world in an instant. Not now, oh no. Now you have to have a bum on Oprah's couch to get a glimpse of Robward and Kristella groping one another on the infamous gold bed spread....




...where was I?


Oh, that's right. Oprah. She's gone and stolen Twilight from us regular folk, she's keeping it all under wraps with a big, fat, "exclusive" label on it. It's just not right. The internet was invented for one thing and one thing only... Twi-Crack. Full Stop. So listen up Oprah, give Twilight back to the people!!!